I was not trying to lie to myself, many things came up and I was just trying to think everything through all over again.. It is sad, because I do this every time when I don’t have any idea of what to do and who to blame…. Well, maybe not blame, but just dislike something that happened.
So, how many times has this been? I don’t know, but if you ask me why the hack I’m behaving this way, yes, I admit that i’m having a feeling, as usual, I hated this feeling. Maybe it is over protecting myself of not being hurt. Okay, I’m selfish enough to say that, but not clear enough of falling into (maybe not yet) this trap.
So, am I just trying to reach for help? or else? I don’t know, I doubt someone will help me so I’m just trying to rise from this trap…………
what are all these crap? Okay, I had a can of beer and some bad noodles for dinner, this night is about to get worse.